God awful movies
Latest Episodes
37: Vultures of Horror
This week, we watched a Nigerian Christian demon bird cult classic. Yup. Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page.
36: The Black Rider: Revelation Road
This week, Thomas Smith joins Eli, Noah, and Heath for an atheist review of The Black Rider: Revelation Road, the third film in a trilogy that has, until this point, known which side of the colon the subtitle goes on. Join us as we desperately try to figure out what accent Kevin Sorbo is shooting for, why David AR White is wearing knee pads, and what the hell the point of this whole trilogy was. For more Thomas in your life, check out the following links: Thomas and the Bible Comedy Shoeshine Atheistically Speaking Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page.
35: Revelation Road 2: The Sea of Glass and Fire
This week, we’re joined once again by special guest masochist Thomas Smith of Atheistically Speaking and Thomas and the Bible for an atheist review of Revelation Road 2: The Sea of Glass and Fire. Part 1 went something like this: “In a pre-post-apocalyptic world, one humble karate ninja sets out to sell bulletproof vests door to door because he’s an idiot. But when he accidentally karate ninjas the wrong biker gang, nothing happens, but they suggest something will in the sequel.” Well we checked the sequel, and it doesn’t. Nothing happens. And this is our review of the nothing happening. — For more Thomas in your life, check out the following links: Thomas and the Bible Comedy Shoeshine Atheistically Speaking Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page.
34: Revelation Road: The Beginning of the End
This week, we’re joined by special guest masochist Thomas Smith of Atheistically Speaking and Thomas and the Bible for an atheist review of Revelation Road: The Beginning of the End. In a pre-post-apocalyptic world, one humble karate ninja sets out to sell bulletproof vests door to door because he’s an idiot. But when he accidentally karate ninjas the wrong biker gang, nothing happens, but they suggest something will in the sequel.—If you’d like to pick up your copy of the God’s Not Dead song parody from last week (remember, 100% of proceeds go to charity!), you can get it on CD Baby here. If you’d like to donate to the same charity directly, you’ll find it here. To learn more about the fundraiser, check out The Herd Mentality podcast. Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page.
33: God's Not Dead 2
This week, Eli, Noah, and Heath join forces for an atheist review of God’s Not Dead 2, a story in which god continues to not be dead, apparently. This film continues the Pure Flix tradition of cramming way too many characters into a story with way too little plot, all to a soundtrack that can only be described as castration-like.—Special musical thanks this week to Morgan Clarke, whose you can check out on Soundcloud. Additional special musical thanks this week to Anna Phyllis Smith, whose you can check out on her website. And, of course, our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page.
32: Mercy Rule
On this week’s episode, Eli, Noah, and Heath join forces for an atheist review of Kirk Cameron’s Mercy Rule; the tale of a scrappy, old-fashioned junkyard owner fighting back against socialized waste removal. And while it’s certainly the least “god” of any movie we’ve reviewed so far, it’s far from the least “awful.” Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page.
31: Miracles From Heaven
This week, Eli, Noah, and Heath take a field trip to see Miracles From Heaven in the theater on opening weekend. Red carpet!!! Eli wore Versace, Noah wore Nike, and Heath wore a smile. Nobody else was happy. Join them in this fair and balanced review of a story about how Jesus gives deadly diseases to young children, and why doctors are to blame. Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page.
30: A Matter of Faith
This week, Eli, Noah, and Heath join forces once again to take on the most blissfully ignorant film they’ve encountered so far. Join them for an atheist review of A Matter of Faith; a film about a father whose daughter’s ignorance is challenged by a college education. After her biology professor has the audacity to teach true things, instead of dad’s favorite fairytales, dad has no choice but to challenge the evolutionist to a debate that nobody thinks he can win. Because he’s wrong. And he’s debating a guy who’s right. And has a PhD. Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page.
29: If Footmen Tire You, What Will Horses Do?
On this week’s episode, Eli unearths the single craziest piece of batshittery in the history of film. If Footmen Tire You, What Will Horses Do? is a gratutiously titled red-scare propaganda piece that mixes Christian persecution fetish, cold war paranoia, and baffling inconsistent accents to create the most bizarre cinematic experience we’ve yet endured.— Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page.
28: Risen
This week we meet a movie that’s out of our league, but only by a little. Join Eli, Noah, and Heath as they head out for a field trip and learn how the Jesus story would have played out had it been a buddy cop flick in our atheist review of Risen.—You should really check out the preview for next week’s movie. It’s more insane than you can possibly imagine: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E7HytrGnnz8 Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page.